Use Case Spotlight: Interpersonal Relationships

talking_in_the_tavern
Illustration by Aries Faries

In last month’s Use Case Spotlight, we looked at ways to use Habitica to set (and keep!) realistic goals for the New Year. This month, since Valentine’s Day is on the way, it’s a great time to look at methods for creating and nurturing connections to the other people in your life. These great ideas for using Habitica to maintain and improve friendships, romantic relationships, and family connections come from your fellow players in the Use Case Spotlights Guild!

indescribble starts us off with a simple Habit to encourage interaction with others:

I have a ‘ Socialised!’ daily which doesn’t count for those I live with or talk with daily (hubby, child, parents, inlaws etc) but does count for extended family, strangers etc.. I’ve found it has encouraged me to talk to other parents at my child’s school, other students in my uni classes, reach out to cousins for a chat on the phone, talk to random strangers when waiting in line etc..

Dan O’Dea shares some great thoughts on how to make your conversations more meaningful by listening with your full attention:

…Build a habit with a plus-minus system. The habit is, “Monitor your conversations today. For every conversation longer than ten minutes, check one of the following.

  1. If you listened more than you talked and didn’t try to resolve the “problem” unless asked to, click the Plus box.
  2. If you listened more than you talked and gave an answer the other person asked for, click the Plus box.
  3. If you talked more than you listened or gave an answer that wasn’t asked for, click the Minus box.
  4. If the conversation was specifically to answer a question, don’t click either box.

…Doing this sort of thing (listen to how people feel and respecting it rather than judging it on your standards) helps in a lot of ways.

Genleevia shares a Habit to help you cope with the people you interact with often but may find difficult or unpleasant:

Last year, I rented a room in a house with four strangers who I could barely tolerate. Itching to live on my own but unable to justify the cost, I bit down my irritation and resentment toward my housemates and spent several months being deeply, silently unhappy. Then I created a habit called “Think nice thoughts about housemates (they’re people, too!).” When I caught myself spiraling into a dark, resentful place, I’d consciously redirect myself toward positive thoughts and dwell on good interactions we’d had–and tick the positive habit box. If I indulged in the dark spiral, I’d mark the negative habit box. Thankfully, I could delete the habit in the spring when I finally moved into my own place. But while it lasted, the “Think nice thoughts” cue actually worked wonders!

diapasoun gives some tips on using a Daily to keep your long-distance relationships strong:

Many of my friends (especially from school) have moved away from our city, some to other continents; we’re a pretty far-flung bunch. I have a daily, due on Sundays, for checking in with far-off friends; it has a checklist of names. If I’ve checked in with that person that week, or otherwise made sure to keep the friendship connection going, I get to check off their name. Some people are very easy to keep in contact with, but for the people who are harder, the daily has absolutely made me check in with them when I wouldn’t have otherwise.

There were so many helpful and exciting tips we couldn’t feature them all here! You can see them all and join in the discussion in the Use Case Spotlights Guild– one of your ideas could be featured next month! Look for an announcement of next month’s theme from Bailey soon.

And lastly, if you missed it you may want to take a look at our most recent Guild Spotlight, which showcases groups dedicated to Setting (and Keeping!) Realistic Goals!

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3 thoughts on “Use Case Spotlight: Interpersonal Relationships

  1. Michael

    I like the “Monitor your Conversations” habit; it’s something I’m actively trying to work on, but still forget about quite often. In fact, I realized while reading this blog post that I was literally in the middle of doing the negative habit with a person I was talking with online just now.

    I’m an engineering student and I (as well as many other people I know in engineering) struggle with the concept of listening to someone without trying to solve their problems. It goes against all of our training and professional experience, where our measurement of success (and our paycheck) is based on how well we can fix things and solve problems.

    Part of my rational is “would I want someone else to help me solve my problems” and the answer is usually yes. But I realized – like one of Dan’s positive habits alludes to – if people want that then they will ask for it (then it’s fair game in my opinion!).

    Thanks for the quality post.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Sharing the Love: Guilds for Interpersonal Relationships – get organized. stay motivated. have fun.

  3. Pingback: Use Case Spotlight: Spring Cleaning – get organized. stay motivated. have fun.

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